True Tori May Be an Interesting Character Study

I'm guessing that many people diss the idea of watching Tori and Dean while they try to repair their marriage. After all, why would Tori put their intimate lives in front of the camera for everyone to see? Is Tori addicted to her life in front of the camera? Is Tori desperate for a paycheck to support her children? Why doesn't Tori's wealthy mother throw some of the family money in Tori's direction?

Tori and Dean's happy family before the mess, courtesy of Lifetime

The idea of watching "True Tori" scared me at first; in fact, this idea made my stomach a bit queasy. But, to tell you the truth, I've watched much of the couple's other series, when they created a Bed & Breakfast, and when they decided to return to Los Angeles. I've seen this family grow from two to six. I don't think I have morbid curiosity. I want to see Tori succeed at life, whether she stays married or not. I read Tori's book that covers the area of her life before Dean, and I think I understand why she left husband number one for Dean.

After watching three episodes of "True Tori," this is what I can report: Both Tori and Dean have suffered these last few months. They are both worn out physically. At first, as Tori drives to see Dean for the first time after 90 days, she narrates her point of view, that Dean has been hospitalized and treated for his problems and addictions. I am undecided about this show until we learn that Dean had such a severe meltdown after Tori and everyone else found out about his cheating that he'd tried (or threatened) to commit suicide. 

When someone else makes this revelation about Dean, we find out that Tori will protect him, no matter what he has done. Maybe she protects him out of respect for their marriage. Maybe she is protective of him in general. It's too soon to tell. She won't let him return to their marital bed yet. How can she? But she still wants to protect Dean's professional image.

Reality Shows Are Destroying Proper English

No one will dispute that watching too much television is bad for us. I'm not sure why; maybe we become too passive in our lives by watching, instead of doing. However, we do engage in passive learning. Our subconscience picks up new words that increase our vocabulary. Our knowledge of facts increases, depending on what programs we watch.

I've recently noticed an increase in bad grammar on TV in general. I believe the reason for incorrect use of language is a result of the influx of reality shows that require little education or training. No broadcast or journalism standard is necessary in reality shows. The "stars" of reality shows are not talking from a script that is written by a writer who understands proper use of language. Because the airing of reality shows has increased exponentially, many hours of reality TV are aired with no trained actors. No trained interviewers.

A common grammatical error is the use of an incorrect pronoun as the object of a preposition. For instance, correct English grammar is, "Our parents came to dinner with us," or "Our parents came to dinner with him and me." Lately I hear: "Our parents came to dinner with he and I." For those of you who need a grammar brush-up, the pronouns "he" and "I' are always subjects of a sentence. For some reason, some speakers think it sounds proper to use "he" and "I" or "she" and "I" after with. In fact, I believe that President Obama was faulted for making a similar error. This type of error is always picked up by people who are trained in English, writing, journalism and most individuals who speak in public.

Although I think even well-educated people can be sloppy with the way that they speak, one type of mistake is a mortal sin, as far as I'm concerned. Using pronouns "him" and "me" as the subject of a sentence, as in, "Him and me went to dinner with our parents." Ooh. Yuck. Or "Me and him think it's clever to talk this way."

I take no issue with those who indulge in watching reality shows. I have my own guilty pleasures; I watch a couple of the "Real Housewives" shows. The main reason I can't give "Jersey Shore" a pass is that the cast members BUTCHER the English language by continually starting sentences with "me and him," as in "Me and him hooked up."

I may tolerate too much drinking or fighting or gossiping. But I don't find bad grammar entertaining. Can't reality stars--including the Kardashians--learn how to speak correctly?

Here's a hint to anyone who wants to impress others with a nice car and a beautiful home. Bad grammar follows you everywhere. Bad grammar will give you away every time. If you want to move around comfortably with wealthy people or educated people or cultured people, learn to speak correctly. If you want a challenging career, and you want to get your foot in the door by impressing an interviewer, learn good grammar.

If you slid through high school without paying attention in English class, you can take a grammar class at a community college. Amazon has several inexpensive grammar books.

My fear is that sloppy English will become the norm. With younger generations using abbreviations for words while texting, we are producing young adults who don't know how to speak.

Kim Kardashian Never Gave Her Marriage a Chance

This photo tells all. Kim is turned toward the right, instead of looking into her groom's eyes. This photo and corresponding video show the lack of intimacy between this bride and her groom, at least from her point of view.

Almost any bride walks down the aisle in anticipation of looking into her groom's eyes and reciting meaningful vows as they symbolically join to be a couple. In this photo Kim wears a shit load of makeup and false eyelashes that cover the real contours of her face and eyes. What does her groom see as he looks at her? She is obviously dressed for cameras and television audiences and her photo deal with People Magazine.

I guess that a part of me would like to believe that reality shows are based on some type of truth. Kim had the power to twist the truth by making sure her show was edited to her liking. In spite of this control, she made herself look bad by doing the following:

On the season final of Kourtney and Kim Take New York, Kim spent much of the show in the confessional, appealing to the public to understand how miserable she became when her fairytale fell apart. She spent the remainder of the show, crying to her sisters about her fairytale and her belief in true love and romance.

Kim showed her true colors by crying to her sisters behind clothes doors while her husband Kris, the man she promised to cherish, sat in the other room (locked out). Instead of telling Kris that the marriage was indeed over, she told her sister and her sister's boyfriend and anyone else who would listen that she wanted a divorce. She told the confessional that she'd made a mistake. Yet, she still hadn't told Kris, the man she'd married for better or worse, that he should make other plans. Kim cared more about the approval of her fans and her audience and her friends and her family than she cared about Kris, the man she married.

Kim spun a story that she thought her audience would swallow about how she should have known Kris longer and how they have nothing in common. When they left New York, Kim refused to let Kris send his boxes of belongings to her home in California, but she still would not come out and tell him that the marriage was over while EVERYBODY ELSE KNEW. Kim is duplicitous at best. If she truly loved Kris--at any given time--she could have given the marriage a real chance. Instead, she talked Kris into moving in with Kourtney and Kourtney's family for the sake of their show. When the living situation became stressful, the couple should have left the family home and moved to a place by themselves.

What woman isn't smart enough to know that this marriage was doomed from the beginning? Not because the courtship was too short. Kloé and Lamar's courtship was shorter, but Kloé has respect for herself and her husband. She is willing to separate herself from the family when necessary. She is willing to forgo fan adoration to work on her marriage.

From watching her show, I conclude that Kim has no personal conviction or confidence in herself. As long as money and fame are her God, she will never find happiness with a husband and children. At the very least, she needs to learn to talk openly with the man in her life.

Where Do I Begin?

It is the night before New Years Eve. I guess it's New Years Eve Eve. As I remove ornaments from my tree and organize my house for the new year, I hear a Crash! Boom! Thud. Thud....Something FELL! My dog sits on her mat across the room from me. Where's my kitty? As long as there's no broken glass. I am okay.

I peer around the corner to my bathroom as my cat dashes past me. He has walked along the periphery of the bathroom counter, around a pile of Christmas junk, and knocked a plant onto the carpet. Do you ever just stare at a mess and wonder, "Where do I begin?"

Are You Kidding Me?

I've worked at giving my new yard some character and atmosphere. My goal has been to keep the fast-growing trees in top form so that I can look at lots of green.

I have several sitting areas on my modest property. My favorite is a corner with an arbor that is graced by redwood trees. I have two sealed boxes of dog ashes that are the remains of my loyal boy Travis and my child-like Bruno. I have held onto these sealed boxes until I find the perfect place for my dogs to rest. This corner sitting area is ideal--or WAS ideal.

The house next door is finally finished, and they have occupied their property and then some. Here is the view of my favorite back yard space:

Right now I hate my new neighbors and the UGLY net that surrounds their trampoline. They've shoved this monolith to the south side of their house, near their garage so that it's not in their range of sight. Yet, this piece of junk is in eye shot of every main window of my house.

I'm super irritated, disappointed, furious. Do I ask my neighbors to move this? I doubt they care about my feelings. Do considerate people think about what they place in their neighbors' view?

Cough City

Empty Kleenex boxes liter several rooms of my house as a result of my recent bout with a formidable virus. My worn out nose has run all over the place. My poor nose is red, peeling, scabbed and not fit for a social life.

Woe is me. In fact, I wanted to call this blog "Woe Is Me," but somebody with a pathetic life must have cut in front of me and grabbed the title first.

My nose has finally begun to settle down. But last night my throat told me that feeling better only marks the end of phase 1. During a marathon coughing spell that lasted all night, I just about yakked up my spleen. I am dizzy and disoriented from my coughing spell. Sleep alludes me. I am sleepy. Do I find peace back in the bed sheets or shall I ease into daytime life by way of chores and phone calls? Here is a likeness of me (not me) on Christmas Day. I wonder if the girl in this photo had her flu shot.

Have I mentioned that I always sneeze seven times?

I won't include images of the plugged up headaches that came with this cold. They were too freaky.

They Call It Stormy Monday

This photo represents drama in my life and unrest in my heart.

I generally prefer to see myself as an upbeat person, someone who sees the proverbial glass as half full. I don't like whiners. I don't like victims. I don't like helpless people.

I'm giving myself permission to whine, wail, bitch, moan, and vent in an intense way so that I can fully express my anger and sadness, mostly to exorcise feelings that keep me from moving forward.

My life is good. Most of my challenges are about me and not anyone else. But sometimes I get good and pissed off, and I want to FEEL MY ANGER and then let it go. I want to LOATHE someone. I want to be FURIOUS with my family members who don't understand what makes me tick, even after I spell it out. Something in them needs to refuse me.

I conclude that I was dropped into the wrong family. My father and I learned to understand each other before he died. This gift was a huge surprise. My aunt and I are a good fit. (Case in point: No one else calls my 87-year-old aunt or writes to her but me.) And I adore my aunt. I cherish the aunt/niece relationship, but this concept is foreign to my family. There is a potential relationship with my beautiful "prodigal girls," as long as I tow the line and keep my truths to myself.

Right now I have three people in my life who get me (CT, SC and BG). Who could ask for more?