I generally prefer to see myself as an upbeat person, someone who sees the proverbial glass as half full. I don't like whiners. I don't like victims. I don't like helpless people.
I'm giving myself permission to whine, wail, bitch, moan, and vent in an intense way so that I can fully express my anger and sadness, mostly to exorcise feelings that keep me from moving forward.
My life is good. Most of my challenges are about me and not anyone else. But sometimes I get good and pissed off, and I want to FEEL MY ANGER and then let it go. I want to LOATHE someone. I want to be FURIOUS with my family members who don't understand what makes me tick, even after I spell it out. Something in them needs to refuse me.
I conclude that I was dropped into the wrong family. My father and I learned to understand each other before he died. This gift was a huge surprise. My aunt and I are a good fit. (Case in point: No one else calls my 87-year-old aunt or writes to her but me.) And I adore my aunt. I cherish the aunt/niece relationship, but this concept is foreign to my family. There is a potential relationship with my beautiful "prodigal girls," as long as I tow the line and keep my truths to myself.
Right now I have three people in my life who get me (CT, SC and BG). Who could ask for more?
No comments:
Post a Comment