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| Tori and Dean's happy family before the mess, courtesy of Lifetime |
After watching three episodes of "True Tori," this is what I can report: Both Tori and Dean have suffered these last few months. They are both worn out physically. At first, as Tori drives to see Dean for the first time after 90 days, she narrates her point of view, that Dean has been hospitalized and treated for his problems and addictions. I am undecided about this show until we learn that Dean had such a severe meltdown after Tori and everyone else found out about his cheating that he'd tried (or threatened) to commit suicide.
When someone else makes this revelation about Dean, we find out that Tori will protect him, no matter what he has done. Maybe she protects him out of respect for their marriage. Maybe she is protective of him in general. It's too soon to tell. She won't let him return to their marital bed yet. How can she? But she still wants to protect Dean's professional image.
By the end of the second episode, I conclude that this series has great possibilities, similar to the Lindsay Lohan documentary on Oprah's network. An intimate show can be of great value, if the participants are honest. When they are 90 percent honest, we are still left with an interesting show because the participants expose more of themselves than they realize.
I see right away that Dean is the weaker of the two of them. Dean might use Tori's protectiveness to his advantage. I hope he doesn't, but the couple begins to reveal itself in a way that probably wasn't planned. This makes for good television and intelligent television if Tori and Dean continue to be honest in the therapy sessions that we observe.
In the third episode, the therapist asks the two of them to write letters to each other. Dean is to acknowledge how he hurt Tori; Tori is to describe how Dean hurt her. The therapist is hoping that if everything is out in the open and nothing is left unsaid, they can clear the air and build on the truth (my words and interpretation). Neither of them looks forward to this task. Tori doesn't seem to want to lay too much pain on Dean by describing how she has suffered, and she doesn't want to make herself more vulnerable by revealing her full devastation. Tori fears that Dean can't handle how much he hurt her. Dean finishes his letter but he uses words like, "I'm sorry I hurt you. I've done something unforgivable." Tory is hearing nothing new from Dean. She wants something different.
When the therapist intercedes and encourages Tori to go into more detail of how much Dean has devastated her, Dean puts his hands to his head, as if he is being attacked by a whopper migraine, and Tori tells the therapist to Stop. Stop. Stop. "This is too much for Dean."
And what a revelation about the dynamics of their marriage and their relationship!
The honesty between this couple will never go further without this therapist because Tori is afraid of pushing Dean into a frightening meltdown. Tori fell in love with the softer side of Dean, the fragile artist. We can see the depth of her love and how she is connected to Dean.
That is one theory. Maybe I have a chip on my shoulder, but here comes the other theory that I hate to have stumbled upon. I hope I'm wrong about this one.
Dean carries the power in this couple's relationship because Tori will never risk hurting Dean more than he can handle. She can't call him on his stuff because she doesn't want to hurt him even after he has devastated her. She is doing her best NOT to be a doormat. At some point she will have to choose herself over Dean.
I've seen Dean use the suicide card three times now. I don't know what to think. Is he so terrified of losing Tori and so angry at himself for destroying the their lives that he couldn't stand to live any longer? When he attempted to hurt himself before he was hospitalized, he'd been drinking and indulging in drugs. He was not of sound mind. He says he wouldn't consider suicide again, but when Tori gets close to describing how much Dean's actions hurt her, he begins to hold his head and covers his face.
Earlier in this third episode. a friend of the couple comes over to help Dean feed the kids while Tori gets a little girl time. The friend comes out with it and asks Dean for some kind of explanation for his deceit.
(I think that any friend who is invested in this couple has the right to ask Dean why he did what he did.)
Dean describes how stupid he was to cheat and to risk everything because---deep down---he doesn't feel good about himself. Then he tells the friend that he had been hospitalized for a 51/50. And this bit of news changes the direction of the conversation. Is Dean trying to make sense out of everything that he has done and learning to forgive himself?
Or is Dean using the suicide card for more sympathy?
At the end of this episode both Tori and Dean are exhausted from a long day. Dean finishes cooking dinner while Tori gets the kids ready for bed.
Tori says, "How long? These kids need to go to bed."
Dean says, "As soon as this sauce is finished."
Tori runs her finger through the sauce and says matter-of-factly, "It's a little watery." I think she means that it isn't ready yet because the liquid hasn't evaporated yet.
Dean sounds hostile when he says, "Thanks for the insult. You're making me look bad."
Tori says, "After everything else we've revealed, and you're upset about this?"
Dean explains that is uncomfortable with the viewers thinking he's a bad cook.
I find this last little slice of life to be the most revealing of all. Tori has dodged nosey paparazzi and well-meaning friends. She seems to care more about protecting Dean than protecting herself or her own image. In other words, she will put most thought and care into forming her words to Dean so that she doesn't push him over the edge. She doesn't want to paint a picture of him that prevents him from getting future work, and she knows he is a fragile person, period.
But has Tori looked in the mirror lately? She is still pretty but she is thin and ravaged from carrying the responsibility of her FIVE children. She looks exhausted. I recommend a week at a luxurious spa for Tori. There must be someone who can take care of the children while she is gone.
Tori lets her guard down for five seconds and says, "It's a little watery." It is Dean's reaction to her comment that reveals more about Dean than anything else so far.
(Please note: My quotes are not verbatim. They are written from memory in an effort to represent as much accuracy as possible.)
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